…and I don’t know that I’m entirely happy? Now, this could be a result of the HARD work we endured during this move (Michael’s my hero, I can’t say that enough, even though he’s assholish at times) or it could be the result of having a billion and three boxes piled up around me or it could be that my kids haven’t slept in their beds yet or the fact that Michael just left for a 19 day rotation today. I don’t know? It could just be these pleasant pregnancy hormones. But, I look around here and think “I moved back to this shithole?” Just to clarify… it’s not the people that I love that make it a shithole. If it were not for them I would be really depressed at the whole thing. But, it’s the differences between Cumming and Buffalo. Maybe it just takes time to readapt? One thing’s for damn sure: I will NOT be going to the God-forsaken place they call Walmart here. Target’s gonna have to do.

Tonight I will be saying goodbye to one of my best friends in Georgia. It’s gonna be so fucking hard and I cry just at the thought of it.

We’ve spent loads of time together and it’s just one of those friendships that seems to have existed forever. So, in reality, it’s not Goodbye. Is it? However, I will miss her smile, her companionship, her cooking…all the way down to her red Xterra. Ugh. So, it’s not Goodbye but we are moving 900 miles away and while we’ll talk and definitely keep in touch we won’t be able to go to the park on the fly with the kids, drink iced Americanos, drive down to Alpharetta and eat at Chipotle’s, etc..etc..etc..

I’m so glad I know her. I know we’ll be friends forever. But, that doesn’t make leaving her here any easier.

Jersey, if you are reading this please know that I love you to the moon and back -a million times over! I’ll never drink a Starbucks without thinking about you! You’ll be one of my best friends forever! And, I love you dearly!

So, yesterday was the Karate test. We said goodbye and thank you to Sensei Dan and while I had a lump in my throat and a tear in my eye, I did not ugly cry. Thank Goodness. They would have just called me the crazy pregnant mama that ugly cries. *giggle*

The Test

Mikey did so well; I was so proud. At the last test he was promoted but on probation. It was a direct result of him not giving it his all. But, after the EKC (Extreme Karate Camp) something changed withing him. He started to give effort. It was apparent at the test yesterday. He not only got off his probation, he was promoted to a green belt.

We took some pictures with Sensei. He said to Mikey, “Make sure you take this picture to show your new Sensei what a handsome Sensei you had in Georgia.” It made us laugh. It’s those comments that I’ll miss hearing. Hopefully our next one is as pesonable and likeable as this one. However, I have a feeling that the next Sensei will have some hard shoes to fill. I’ll feel like the mom that loved her son’s girlfriend so MUCH and they broke up and no one would ever compare to the old girlfriend.

On Saturday the dojo is holding a rank test. The test is intended for the higher ranks but Sensei Dan wants Mikey to test so that he can remove him from his probationary belt to full fledged orange belt. Just talking to him about it made my throat close up with an emotional lump. I tried to say “ok see you then” but I honestly don’t know what came out. Hopefully it was unnoticeable as there was much going on around us.

We’ve been part of this dojo for 2 years now. It’s been one of the most rewarding experiences for all of us. And my one sadness over leaving Georgia is greatly tied to the Coal Mountain Karate School and Sensei Dan. I learned a lot about myself in the short time that I practiced there. I learned that I can push through pain, that I’m strong, that sweat is great and that balance can be achieved through hard work, persistance, devotion and effort. These are lessons that I walk away with and carry with me; I can only hope Mikey does the same and I think he will.

On Saturday we’ll say our goodbye to Sensei Dan. He leaves for vacation the next day so if we don’t say “goodbye and thank you” to him on Saturday afternoon then we won’t get the chance to. I just know that I’m going to cry and quite possibly do what Oprah calls “the ugly cry”. It’s ok, though. It shows that my emotions run deep and it shows that I feel gratitude and sadness, at the same time. WOn’t be easy but I’ll get through with it.

And… someday I’m going to return to that dojo wearing a black belt. It might be in a different style of Japanese Karate but I will still be accepted. This is my goal. With effort, I go forward. Even if I “ugly cry” along the way.