That’s what Dr. Calabrese told me when we were going over my birth history. It was in regards to me not having an epidural during labor/delivery.

That’s me! The crazy lady who shoots babies out of her va-jay-jay without any spinal insertions for pain meds.

A friend, whom shall remain nameless, went shopping with Olivia and I this evening. Her two year old toddler, whom shall remain nameless, was also in tow. After shopping a bit in Target (where I got a lovely clearance priced purse) we went to a little shop called the Country Peddlers. This particular shop has grown in recent years from a produce stand to a full out grocer with a meat market, a retail store, a garden center and now an ice cream shoppe.

Anyyyyyway… Today was this pregnant lady’s opportunity to try a heavenly treat called gelato (which my friend whom is still remaining nameless has raved about for months) and you bet’cha baby booties I was all over that like white on rice. I went to the window to our our gelato and Livey’s ice-cream while my friend, whom shall remain nameless, watched her son, whom shall remain nameless, and my kiddette. I got the goods and walked over to them to find my friend’s son, whom shall remain nameless, holding two gazing balls (one smaller than the other). I said, “Is he ok with those?” and not a moment sooner he dropped the bigger one. She froze. I froze. The lady that was standing there with her child froze. I think Livey laughed, I’m not sure. I think the toddler, whom shall remain nameless, pointed and said “it boke”. All I could do was wave my hand like a Jedi at the woman with her child and say, “You did not see anything” and we finished our gelattos and got the hell outta dodge. I sure as fuck didn’t have $70.00 to buy the broken item and my friend, whom shall remain nameless, just dropped $40.00 at Target and I’m sure she didn’t have it either. We concluded that it serves them right having all those gazing balls sitting around. Asshats.