It’s easy to cry this time of year. Easy to cry from happiness, from sadness, with an aching heart, out of loneliness; it’s so easy to be engulfed by varying emotions. It happens to me every year. Even more, now that I have my heart, in four pieces, walking around outside of my body.

Last year was very surreal, being pregnant and trying to make the magic happen for the bigger kids. I was worried about going into labor on Christmas Eve or Christmas morning. I had talks with them about what would happen if “Dude” were to come on the special day. They all voiced that it would be a great present to the family if he did come and that we’d just have Christmas in my hospital room.

Sometimes I forget about the wonder that is being a mother. I forget sometimes because I have to manage the household, give lessons, cook, and just do all the mom things I have to do -most of the time, lately, on my own. So, I forget; it escapes me that motherhood was given to me. A precious gift and one that is sacred and most treasured.

The kids have been buzzing about how it’s feeling like Christmas to them. I, on-the-other-hand, haven’t been feeling it. Until this evening when the only light in the living room was the light of the tree and mantle. I felt it. Christmas songs were playing on my laptop and we were singing together. I looked around at these little pieces of my heart. These little entities that I care for, day in and day out. These little beings whom I love with all my heart and whom I give my heart to on a daily basis. I hope they remember these little moments. I hope I do, too.

Just as I felt this feelings, I realized that I was smiling. I was feeling Christmas. I was feeling the love that Mary must’ve felt as she gazed upon her chosen Son. Just then, this song came on:

This entry was posted on Thursday, December 13th, 2007 at 8:55 pm and is filed under Holiday Magic, Music. You can follow any comments to this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.

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