In December I was alone with the kids for only five days. Five days. That’s the most I’ve been with other adults since before our move back down to Georgia. I still can’t figure out how I like it more? By myself, dealing, or having other hands around to help? Don’t get me wrong, I love having Michael home, and I count down the days till he returns from his rotation, but I do think I like the alone thing just a smidgen more.

I do have this problem that is taking charge of everything, trying to do it all on my own. I don’t know why I do it. Maybe it’s been instilled in me from childhood, maybe I’m just a perfectionist, or maybe it’s just who I am? I know that I can ask for help, when I need it, but often times I find myself trying to juggle four balls, while balancing spinning dishes from a pole that is balanced perilously on my nose, all while crocheting a baby blanket with my feet, and helping a kid with her spelling list. I quite like it. I think I’m sick in the head.

The reason I’ve been thinking about this is a comment that a friend of Maureen’s made the other day, to her, about me while we were gathered at her house for a couple hours. The friend [Jen] said something about me doing everything, in regards to the kids, and Michael doing nothing. Maureen found it funny because Jen’s the opposite of me when it comes to her husband and their child. The husband does it all, I guess, and I mean ALL.

I got pissed hearing this. How dare this woman, who doesn’t know anything about me, make these assumptions. I’m sure she thinks I’m the submissive, apron-wearing, doting wife who bakes cakes from scratch all while juggling four balls, while balancing spinning dishes from a pole that is balanced perilously on my nose, all while crocheting a baby blanket with my feet, and helping a kid with her spelling list. How dare she?

Yes, I have been known to take over the kid duties, but that’s WHAT. I. DO. I am a mom; a damn good mom. It’s my job and I take pride in it. Michael has a grand role in the lives of our children. He teaches them things on a very different level. He is strong, intelligent, insightful, and more. He is a father in every sense of the word. Just because he doesn’t change a diaper or gather the things that go into the diaper bag or make sure the kids have all their belongings upon our exit doesn’t mean he’s unfit. Quite contrarily, for a father that works away from the home so much, he’s a fantastic dad.

Maureen’s getting ready to embark on her time alone. She’s about to realize how alone she has been in the parenting department even before her husband left. Like me, she’s a mom that tends to do a lot of workload. That’s because she’s good at it, their roles in the family are really, truly different, and that’s not bad. Not at all.

People spend too much time scrutinizing mothers and fathers, all the time. Why can’t we just suffice it to say that what works for me, might not work for you, and what works for you, just might not work for me. Why must there be this knit picking in society?

I’m not going to sit here and cry that I don’t have another pair of hands here to help me all the time. I’m dealing just fine, despite what others -like Maureen’s friend- think. I’m fine with changing my baby’s diaper, juggling four balls, while balancing spinning dishes from a pole that is balanced perilously on my nose, all while crocheting a baby blanket with my feet, and helping a kid with her spelling list.

This is life. It’s not always rosy, cheerful, or easy. This life is full of broken nails, spilled milk, snotty noses, poopie diapers, car breakdowns, sadness, uneasiness, and so much more. It’s what you do with all that life gives you that builds your character. It’s how you handle yourself, when you are alone and no one is watching. It’s about breath, learning to exhale in accordance with your own rhythm, and not and not letting others dictate how your life should or shouldn’t be.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, January 2nd, 2008 at 8:53 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any comments to this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.