Never One to Back Down
A challenge was issued. I’ve chosen to accept it!
This is about the war, we as women, wage on our own bodies and body image. God knows I have several problem areas. As a Macedonian my badge is worn in the form of upper lip hair. Some call it a mustache. I call it a pain in the ass. For a while I chose to be proud of it, and then I started to wax it. Haven’t looked back. I hate my flabby belly, but it shows that I am a mother. Four times stretched out to capacity, the marks are my own. The flab can be battled wisely. My arms could use some serious sculpting, yet they are still strong enough to carry many loads. And my chin, my chin doubles when I laugh heartily, but at least I’m laughing! I could say my body is in need of a lot of work, but these are the things that I can work on.
Women tend to hate on their bodies, it’s super easy to do. I could easily hate on myself. I happen to think, though, that if we embrace our bodies we might have a better outcome; positivity begets positivity. That’s the point where I am about my body right now. I’m trying to be more aware of what I put into it, what I do with it, and how I treat it. It’s the only one I got, and I love it regardless of the flab, lack of muscle tone, gray hairs, the mustache, the what-have-you…
There is one part of my body, however, that has caused a lot of pain for me over the years: My Hands. They are so cracked and scarred from all the constant dermatitis; it’s really uncomfortable, and–quite frankly–ugly. There are times when my hands look so bad that I feel like a leper. Imagine paying for something at the store, and your hands are so dry, so cracked, that they are bleeding. It’s not very good for the psyche when the teller looks at you like you have a contagious disease.
A few months ago when I had to get fingerprinted for my firearms license, they couldn’t even get proper fingerprints. The sheriff felt so bad for me. He had to basically note that my fingerprints “were unattainable due to malformations”. All the years of scar tissue have made it so that my fingerprints couldn’t be scanned properly. Yes, it’s that bad.
(click to enlarge)
I don’t know what the cause is. For the longest time I thought maybe it was the result of an allergy to wheat or wheat gluten. Now, I think it’s more of a contact dermatitis. Going Green with my cleaning products should show a change, but I haven’t done that 100%, yet. It very well could be my laundry detergent? Or my soap? Or something else that I come into contact with, daily? The uncertainty is unnerving.
I haven’t been tested, but that’s the next step. For now, I just live and deal with it like I’ve done for so many years. Unscented creams and moisturizers are my best friends. I’ve found a few that I like and others that I abhor. Sometimes I even have to use Liquid Bandage, for the little cuts. It really does suck. Really.
Easily I could say, “I hate my hands!” but there’s no point in that. I can’t very well lob them off, and grow new ones, can I? So, I deal with the pain, the discomfort, the unattractiveness, the scars, the open cuts when they are there, the everything. I deal with it, just like life. There are things I can profess are wrong and there are things that I wish I could change. However, I just trudge through it all. My hands are no different. Come to think of it, my handshake is still strong. I guess that’s my true measure. Despite pain and set-backs, I am still strong! I’m a woman, after all!
This entry was posted on Thursday, January 31st, 2008 at 8:31 pm and is filed under General. You can follow any comments to this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.
Weird.
My hands, on the other hand, are the single best part of my body. I love them.
I love yours, too. I’d totally rub lotion on them for you. ;)
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So beautiful! Look for a link to your amazing site, tomorrow, right under my very round, very strong, very awesome belly.
Thank you from the bottom of my heart!
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I love this post. i hate my hands too. They randomly break out in allergic reactions to anything and everything. I will take a picture for you sometime haha.
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So much sympathy from here. I’ve had that in a minor way. My mother had exactly that when I was growing up. The things that helped her were wearing rubber gloves while doing all dishes or scrubbing tasks at home; using Corn Husker’s Lotion (made for agricultural workers) — I might also recommend Udder Cream a few times a day; and avoiding soaps with any scent in them. I don’t know if these will help you, but they might. For me, it was the combination of the drying effects of so many washings and the harshness of soaps, so the rubber gloves cured all. I hope this helps!
PS This comment isn’t quite as random as it seems; it’s just my de-lurking moment…
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That sounds so painful.
I relate in a way.
I have a damaged leg due to a massive blood clot. It’s painful and my leg is swollen and horrible.
However, I like my eyes, I have decent lips and a pretty neck, so I’m good.
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I love your attitude – I think it’s beautiful and so are you.
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I hate my upper lip hair. They are all waxed off weekly. I am not sure I will do this project… for I have many issues.
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Well said and kudos to you for saying it! Hugs!
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I too, like liquid bandage & lotions and potions.
The best thing for my hands has been a Rx steroid cream 2x a day — tried it?
I also like Aveeno 24hr intense hand cream (or something to that effect) — it comes in a smaller tube and has a crimson cap.
Your hands work. :D
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ok, i’ll jump on board the project tonight…but one question? have you tried soaking in essential oils to soften the scar tissue? i have really sensitive skin and it’s the single best remedy for dry, chapped, breaking skin for me. which is not the same, but thought i’d suggest anyways.
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Hi, Mishelle,
Maybe it’s hormone related? I used to have a similar problem during my early child-bearing years. Especially painful is when the tips of the thumbs crack and just won’t heal. Now my hands are fine. :)
I wish I could suggest something (besides growing older) that would be helpful to you.
Our doctor suggests Dove soap, using something like shortening on the hands (during the night, with gloves on so it won’t mess everything up) and avoiding products with sodium laureth sulfate (hmm . . . I think that’s right), and citrus-y products.
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Mishelle, I just love that you did this, and I think you are even more awesome than I thought. It does sound painful and not like much fun, but I love your attitude. I’m considering doing this same challenge in the next day or so – depending on how the pictures turn out ;)
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I found this post through Kelly. I have no advice, but it seems many others do.
I can only say:
That sucks! Next time I get a tiny bit annoyed at how winter has ravaged my hands, I will think of you and hope that you have found a way to ease the pain.
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Aw. You are inspirational, all you gals doing this, I just want to cry. I don’t know why, but that post was beautiful, like you.
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The only thing that soothes my hands is aquaphor.Especially since having Griffin it has been terrible! The thing is I hate the feeling of anything on my hands especially lotion etc.. so I put it on before bed at night-at least the nights where I won’t need my hands :) Much sympathy from me!
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Thank you for posting this… I joined the challenge too… you are a beautiful, strong woman!
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My mom and sister have the same problem and use copious amounts of medicated creams for it.
Changing cleaning agents helped, always using gloves helped, and generally avoiding anything you know that irritates the hands helped.
I feel for you sweets.
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Yes, still strong. You are a strong & beautiful woman!
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My sister could relate to your fingerprint saga, she went through the same thing.
lovely post! Inspiring and it’s made me really think.
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But it’s those hands that write such inspired posts and take such beautiful pictures.
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GReat post!
I almost did my hands too! I have callouses from rowing, my skin is dry and peels regardless of how much lotion I use, and I think my fingers are fat.
Your hands write words that are wonderful and intriguing! Excellent post! Beautiful hands!
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Don’t you see the beauty of this- you CAN’T BE FINGERPRINTED! Go out and do something BAD!
I think it is worthwhile to note that I couldn’t see a thing wrong with your hands until I blew up the picture big. Sometimes what is big to you is unnoticeable to others. You are awesome! xoxo, hil
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I bite my nails. Sigh. Nothing like stating your insecurities at your fingertips.
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my best friend has the same problem. dry, painfully cracked hands. they cause her all sorts of emotional and physical pain. her son…he has the same thing!
but…your hands, they take the most awesome pictures, they love all of your children and your husband…they are attached to a beautiful person! so…that makes them beautiful!!!
xoxo
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Kudos for being so brave about your hands! I can only imagine. I suffer from eczema occasionally on my hands and I hate it! I hope switching your household products works for you!
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