Giving Angelina a Run for her Money?
On Tuesday night, while on the phone with my God-sister, whom I haven’t heard from in years, I started to feel a little bump developing on my lower lip. Over the course of the night my lip would swell up to Angelia proportions. It wasn’t as sexy as I thought it would be.
I don’t exactly know what caused this reaction, but I have a sneaking suspicion. I think it was [the evil] Laffy Taffy. We do a good job not to eat stuff with artificial dyes, so I think that eating a mad number of these little pieces of the devil did it. I think I may have overdosed. The kids believed it enough that I was able to throw away all the artificially dyed candies left in their pumpkin buckets.
Wednesday afternoon came and the swelling started to shift, from the left side of my face, to the right. Wednesday night came and my whole right side was swollen and tight. I was seriously depressed over it, yo.
“Don’t look at me!” was all I could say, over and and over and over again.
This morning the swelling shifted again to the upper right side of my lip. And now as I type I have no swelling on my lower lip, but I have this beautiful knot in the middle of my upper lip.
Right now, right here, I want to apologize to my lip for taking it for granted.
Right here, right now, I vow never to wish for plumper lips, and I vow that I will never get collagen injections.
Right now, right here, I want to tell Angelina that she can keep those succulent lips.
Right here, right now, I promise never to eat another piece of artificially dyed Laffy Taffy. Never. Ever. Again.
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