Best Shot Monday: Why Must I Write?
Writing Prompt for a Project I am a part of: Why I Must Write
For years I’ve been putting pen to paper, or fingers to keyboard, writing something–anything–about life. I’ve written about childhood, love, marriage, birth stories, meaningful (or -less) song lyrics, dirty socks, broken fingernails, you name it. And why? Why do I feel the repetitive need to get various stories out?
Because if these stories aren’t released, I *am* still this little girl behind the wet, foggy glass. I will remain muted and [my] history will be untold. I will be the only one who can feel the water and no one will care if it’s hot or cold or if it has the potential to burn or freeze. Eventually I will be swallowed by the drain of existence and no one will know the depths of my heart or soul.
So, I write.
Behind the glass, as the water falls, I am prompted to let memories spill. From my eyes pour tears that mix with moments that have long since passed, and I begin to become whole. And you, you will read [those] words and from your eyes tears will flow. You will realize that we are human, we are not perfect, expectations are not always met, and life is not easy. We will cry together, hopefully bury the past, and move forward.
That’s what words can do. That’s why I must write.
Yet–still–I feel like I am starring down the barrel of a loaded gun. I feel tense and uneasy about the words that will tap out from my fingers. I feel shaky and unsettled because, as the gun is pointed, I do not want to be forced to write what [you] think I should.
Looking down the barrel there is only one solution:
I must take the gun into my own hands. I must wrap my finger around the trigger and I must pull it, assuredly, in my own defense. It won’t be pointed towards anyone and I definitely will not make anyone look down the barrel. For this is my gun, my bullet, my shot, and I’m the one who will feel the force of the firing.
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8 Responses to “Best Shot Monday: Why Must I Write?”
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Your words belong to you, always. I am glad to see you twisting your hands around that cold metal. Remember that truth and prespective are not always the same thing for all people. Write down your truth, and don’t worry about anyone elses perspective.Wow, does this post sing!
conversemomma’s last blog post..This Second Post Today Is Not As Easy As The First
“For this is my gun, my bullet, my shot, and I’m the one who will feel the force of the firing.”
Amen to that.
slouching mom’s last blog post..This Life of Mine
“I feel shaky and unsettled because, as the gun is pointed, I do not want to be forced to write what [you] think I should”
I *SO* get this!
Colleen – Mommy Always Wins’s last blog post..Survival of the fittest
Love what you wrote here!
And I love the new frame! I think I must change mine. Hmmm
Jeanette’s last blog post..A family photoshoot for Sue
I understand what you mean. Sometimes the release is the only thing that helps to ease. Very aptly said, Mish.
As more and more people (family) have begun to read my blog I find I have moved away from some things that I wrote when I was just an annoymos writer with actually no one reading. Now it is more of just a game. Nothing real, nothing substanial.
I understand what you are saying — I hope you can stay true to what you write. I haven’t.
Patsy’s last blog post..Day 17 100 Word Challenge — Intuitive
A worthy warning. A difficult one to navigate though, isn’t it? I find myself spiralling away sometimes under the eyes of others, even well meaning eyes. It’s funny, this evolution of self with audience. I like that you’re defining it. Putting punctuation to it. I have to remember this.
Woman in a window’s last blog post..LIGHT VS DARK (salvation in a sunset)
Oh Mishelle, you are Simply Fearless. Thank you for paving the way for other bloggers to share their truth, to pull their own triggers, and to release the force behind bottled up tears. You are an inspiration.
Simply Fearless’s last blog post..Grandma’s Story {part 2}