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Weekly Winners LXXVII {The Mother Letter Edition}

Posted on May 10, 2009 by Mishi | 20 Comments

Happy Mother’s Day!

The following was written for the Mother Letter Project.


My Real Letter

A few weeks ago I started to compose a letter to my children, and then something happened.  I kind of lost it; in a “mama’s having a meltdown” kind of way.   I wanted to write this beautiful letter of how motherhood has changed me for the better and that these children are the lights of my life.   I wanted to write how everything is perfect and grand.  Frankly, I wanted to lie.

After I had my “mama-meltdown” I got in my van and drove for a while (3 whole hours) and when I got home I trudged up the stairs, embarrassed by my behavior.   I got in a hot shower and sobbed.  The tears met with the streaming water but, oddly, neither had a cleansing effect.  It was in *that* moment that I decided to hit the big road for one of our big road trips back to our home town of Buffalo, NY.  Certainly I would see the true meaning of what it meant to be a mother by getting into a van with my children.  My hope was that in nine hundred miles I would figure things out.

I packed us up and early one Sunday morning we set off.  When I cranked up the van, we heard a man say, “Have you tried….peace?”  And it became our trip’s motto (it would become more, much more, in actuality.)  Fifteen hours together in a van makes us all a little crazy, so what better than trying peace?   If someone got a little cuckoo, another would pipe up asking if the crazy one tried peace.   At one point I was feeling a little frustrated at the noise level.   The frustration was overly apparent.

“Hey Mama….have you tried peace?” my third born son, Benjamin, asked.

“No, Benny. I forgot to try it.” I bluntly answered.

“Well, try it. You know, peace is really good.” he reminded me.

He was right.

————————————————————

Thinking about what I’d write for my Mother Letter I realized that I wasn’t doing anyone justice by sugar coating and stating that this life we live together is all rainbows and ribbons and pink lemonade.  It’s not; it’s chock full of obstacles, worry, doubt, and frustration.  However, even with all of that we have a wonderful hardcore love amongst us.   We have music flowing freely.  We have laughter that infects us to the point of stomachs’ aching.  We have hugs that are tight and we have kisses that are non-stop.

Nothing is perfect, nor should it be. If it was perfect, it would be a lie.   And that’s why I scrapped that first letter.  I could easily talk about the beauty of it all.   I realize, though, that the grit of life is the beauty.  Without it we would be nothing.   So now, I just strive for peace.   Peace in the knowledge that as we go through this hectic, crazy, strange life we are bound by a love that is indescribable.  Peace in the fact that these four entities that I pushed through my loins into the world were made out of love.  Peace in knowing that, while insanity may strike us daily, with all our flaws, with all our troubles, with all our being, we are what we are.

Have you tried peace?

I am. I really am.  Daily.  It’s the best I can do.  It’s the best we all can do.

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This entry was posted on Sunday, May 10th, 2009 at 10:11 am and is filed under Me Myself and I, Weekly Winners. You can follow any comments to this post through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.


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