Mr Lady with Aaron Vest at the Sheraton Hotel in Chicago

I got my period five days early because of Mr Lady.

Yes, that’s right, I blame Shannon for the red tide coming in almost a week before she was due.  Why?  Let me explain:

We stood around in a circle of women.  Someone said something to the effect of  all the women around at BlogHer would cause our cycles to be thrown off big time.   I laughed.  Shannon laughed.

“Well, I alone will throw everyone off,” Mr Lady proudly declared, referring to her super-fertility.

Apparently The Donor need merely look at his sexy Mr Lady the wrong way (or the right way, you decide) and she could make a baby.  I’m the same way.  I have Michael wear a condom when he’s around me for protection.  Dude, that’s just how easily [we] get pregnant!

So I leaned in to my *O.G. Stalker and I sniffed.  I sniffed her loooooong and haaaaaard and I have to admit it was hot.  Good thing I’m able to show some restraint, in public, because I could have done some pretty raunchy stuff to that girl.  She’s not hot, she’s mother-effing HOT!

So maybe I’m partly to blame, what with the sniffing and all, but she’s definitely to blame with all her super hero pheromones and shit.

I was thinking about whom I’d write about today and when Aunt Flo blazed into town, without even a postcard, I knew it would be Shannon.  Then today she wrote this post about how she keeps Mr Lady hidden from most of the people in her life.  Now, on top of both being extremely gorgeous and having super sensitive fertility, we have something else in common.

There are only a few people from “real life” that know about my blog.  I haven’t told my parents.  I don’t link on my Facebook (though I do have blog friends on my FB account).  And I don’t know why.  I don’t know why I haven’t told them, other than I like having my space without their constant watch.  Been there, done that.    I think about exposing it to other family, daily, but I don’t.    Only time will tell.  Time or Google, not sure which one will prevail.

*Back to my O.G. Stalker:

A while back ‘le sex pot’ (uh, dude, did you see her picture?) stalked me. I don’t know where she found me (ok, maybe I do) but one day she added me to all the various social medias.  Then I called her bluff and told her she wasn’t a true stalker until she called or texted me.  Then I gave her my phone number.  7.4 seconds later I had a text message and a few days later we had our first phone conversation.

I’ve been in love with you ever since, yo.  Believe that!

Because she’s the coolest, instead of business cards, Shannon gave out these stickers at BlogHer09.  I intend on keeping mine on my phone. For-like-ever!

Those rides home were always my favorite part of the day. The way my clothes felt against my sunbathed skin. The way my cheeks felt from all the laughter. The way my belly ached in that good ache kind of way. The way my parents recanted the whole day in the front seat of that snazzy Buick they bought from a guy named Steve who lived up the road and often stopped by with his brother whose name has since been forgotten. The way my father would turn around from the passenger seat to ask if I wanted to stop for *you-know-what. The smell of our wet beach towels. The light that was barely apparent through the car window. The life. The feelings. The sounds. Those rides home, those years spent, those times that are forever etched in my mind. Those rides home are my memories of childhood. When I think of my childhood I am sitting in that blue Buick, cozy, warm, radiating, and smiling.

Things never stay the same.

The blue Buick was traded in for a maroon Cougar and the last year we went to the beach my mother lost the keys in Lake Erie. I recall waiting around for the tow-truck/lock smith, in the empty parking lot. All the aunts and uncles and cousins had long since gone home. It was my mother, my father and I waiting.  Anger and frustration over the turn of events morphed into laughter and joking. After all, the car was days old.  To this day Lake Erie has a set of her keys. She’s long gone, but the keys are somewhere in the depths of that lake. Maybe they were found by someone who wondered how they got there or maybe they are lying still, untouched and waiting? It was late that night and we were all drained, but as we approached that familiar stand my father turned around and asked if I wanted to stop for you-know-what. We did and I had twist with sprinkles.

Things just seem to evolve.

The maroon Cougar was upgraded; there have been three Cadillacs parked in my parents’ driveway since. The beach was replaced with an above-ground pool.  And I’ve grown up and have had some kids of my own.    Sometimes when I get a bit too much sun on my shoulders I remember how it felt way back then.  Sometimes when I see a certain light in the sky, through the windows of my van I remember how the day escaped, on those fourths-of-July past, on our rides home.   And, sometimes when I see certain expressions on the faces of my children I am reminded of the glee that I once felt as a child.   That’s when I am certain of it.  That’s when I know that things have come full circle.

Things change yet remain the same.

*Today is my father’s 58th birthday.  Happy Birthday Tato!  I’ll buy you a beer at the Festival next week.  Or maybe we’ll just go for some you-know-what.  Honestly, though, beer sounds better to me these days.  See, things really do change!   Nah; things change yet remain the same because I still love me some ice-cream with sprinkles.  Twist with chocolate sprinkles, that is!

The winner of the Eden Fantasys $65.00 Gift Certificate is:

J-Wag!

I’ll be in touch to get you what you need!

Congratulations J-Wag and thanks to everyone who entered.