Archive for Category: Me, Myself, and I
Confession Time
I have two confessions to make. Here it goes.
I’ve been going to my gym since the end of October. I didn’t want to wait until the new year to make a resolution to get fit, but believe me I thought about it. I decided it was time to be held accountable for my actions (or should I say, quite literally, my inactivity.) It’s the best thing that I have done for myself in a long, long time. That said, earlier this month, on Curvy Girl Guide, we Reinvented the Resolution in an effort to define our lives by a number other than the one that pops up on the stupid scale. That number on the scale is not who I am or who I want to be, so I took it back.
I said,
“My number for 2012 is 2. Since joining the gym, I have tried various group fitness classes, and I love them all so much. They provide me with a great workout, but, beyond that, the instructors and my fellow “teammates” inspire and motivate me immensely. With this new year I am committing to taking two RPM, two BodyPump, two BodyFlow, two CXWorx (core training), and two Zumba classes, every week!”
Two-and-a-half weeks later I have not been able to acheive this number. But, I’ve worked really hard at getting there. I go to the gym about five times a week striving to get to my 2-2-2-2-2, but life and work and schedules and sickness have gotten in the way. I’ve had to look at my goal and stop beating myself up about it if I only get 2-2-2-1-1 or 2-2-1-1-1 because, quite frankly, I’m still working my ass off. I have all of 2012 to get to the point that I want to be at, and you can believe that I will definitely get there.
My second confession is a little bit unbelievable. It’s even hard for me to believe, but, truth is, I havent’ picked up my big camera since January 5th (and on that day I only took a handful of pictures of Davey riding his big boy bike in the cul-de-sac.) It could have something to do with the winter. Or life. Or work. Or schedules. Or sickness. Or whatever.
The saving grace in this confession is the camera on my iPhone. Oh my gosh, that thing is incredible, and I ultimately think that the reason I haven’t picked up my beloved DSLR is that I have been having an amazingly fun time with the ease of use of the camera on my phone. I’ve been snapping numerous photos, daily, often updating Instagram. I’m even taking part in a photo-a-day project over there, complete with prompts. So, while it’s a little hard to believe that I haven’t used my big camera in a few weeks I’m comforted in the knowledge that I’m still taking pictures and telling stories with my images.
Now that I think about it, I’m just switching it up. Just like how I do at the gym!
I recently learned about photo books from Mixbooks, and cannot wait to try it out. Since I’ve been taking a photo a day I plan on creating a photo book that will tell the story of my days.
Mixbooks look easy and fun to create, with software that is seemingly non-complicated. You simply upload your photos and get creative. There are templates to use or you can totally personalize it by creating your own.
“Customize photo books to your liking. You can make your photo book unique with text, cropped and rotated photos, various fonts, and more! There’s no limit to what kinds of photo books you can make! Be completely satisfied with your printed photo book. Our photo books are printed on archival-quality silk 100 lb. paper with full photo wrap covers. Whether you choose a softcover or hardcover photo book, each product is 100% satisfaction guaranteed.” -Mixbook.com
I might even have to create one ahead of time because they look so easy and fun (and affordable, to boot.) I better order soon because they are offering 30% off, until January 23rd. The coupon code is BOOK30. Now I have to figure out what pictures to use!
[Disclosure: This post was sponsored by Mixbook.com, but the feelings expressed are purely my own.]
It’s 2012
It’s already January 5th. How in the world did that happen?
Here are some things that have been going on between the end of last year and the beginning of this new one:
On December 28th, Davey turned FIVE! Lucky boy, it was Moe’s Wednesday, and we all headed there for lunch. It’s our favorite place to go; not only because on Wednesdays kids eat free, but we totally love their food! After a week of having Michael gone, through Christmas, he was home and we all enjoyed our lunch together (which concluded with a visit to the Western store where Davey got one of those cute little stick horses, and I drooled all over the cowboy boots.
Oh, and he named his horse, “Horsey the Bomb”. Or Bob. Either or works, really!
Davey requested a cookie cake for his birthday. Five candles and one for good luck, yo!
During the last days of Christmas break I took each of the kids clothes shopping. Their Baba & Dedo sent them money for Christmas, and we decided that they would spend it on new digs.
We had a great time each day, eating lunch and shopping. The only day that was a little crazy was the day that I took Benny and Davey out, together, because, in my opinion, a five year old and an Outlet Mall DO.NOT.MIX.
I also started The Hunger Games! I’ve since finished it, and now I am waiting for Catching Fire to come in to our library. I hope it comes in today. I also want to publicly state that Katniss Everdeen is BAD ASS and totally trumps Bella Swan!
On New Year’s Eve we made a big pot of white beans with corn bread, had Mikey’s buddy over after their bid day of airsoft play, ate chips and dip, and Benny and I went outside and threw pop-its at the ground! I barely made it to midnight–guess I am getting old—but, I made it and we did out traditional “HAPPY NEW YEAR” shout out to the world from our front porch!
On new year’s day, I found myself in Webkinz hell with Livey and Benny (aka Justice, the evil store that still sells these stuffed animals.
A few days ago, Davey overcame his fear of spontaneously going down the hill on his bike, and rode in the cul de sac for over an hour. He is a big boy, after all.
It’s been a great start to 2012!
“Yes, I am the Warrior…”
“WHEN I AM GRATEFUL I EMIT POSITIVE VIBRATIONS WHICH EFFECT A REALIGNMENT OF EMOTIONS IN YOU AND IN CREATION. THIS IN TURN WILL AWAKEN EVEN MORE GRATITUDE WITHIN ME.” — PIUS THEKEMURY
I am grateful for my laughter. The way I can let out a belly laugh without worry of snorting. I laugh when I want to laugh, and only at what I choose to laugh at; this ability to laugh is at the top of my list because I aim to laugh with others, at myself, and daily.
I am grateful for my family. Every member is so different and provides me with different remedies.
I am grateful for my voice. For the music that is my music, the songs that house lyrics that make up the soundtrack of my life.
I am grateful for my ability to forgive. Without forgiveness we are nothing. Forgiveness can free you from so much.
I am grateful for my photography. The bent light that allows me to see my world, absorb it on a tangible level, to devour any time I see fit.
I am grateful for my strong legs. They have carried me at my lightest, my heaviest, and everywhere in between.. They have allowed me to dance to clarinets and drums in old leather shoes made by hand; they have bled and scarred, and they still manage to be perfect; they have found themselves in postures of stregnth and balance, inching deeper, stretching thoroughly, knowing they will go farther—do more—all the while honoring my warrior spirit.
What are you grateful for?
“To be fully alive, fully human, and completely awake is to be continually thrown out of the nest.” —Pema Chödrön
Out with sitting still . In with daily movement.
Out with comparing myself to other photographers in the world. In with embracing MY photography and what it does for me.
Out with rushed breath. In is conscious breath.
Out with not focusing on my womanhood. In with allowing myself to be the woman that I am separate from the mother I am.
Out with being all over the place. In with keeping a schedule and being organized. (Good luck to me on this one, for real.)
Out with sedentary beliefs. In with study and cultivation of spirituality.
Out with thinking I am not enough. In with knowing I am.
+++++
Sometimes it’s OK to take the same path to discover something you didn’t see the first time through. I noticed that I had put a quote pertaining to just this on a picture one day. I saw it recently and it has stuck to me this week, as I am trying to do things that I have done before, just a little bit differently.
Yesterday was a prime example: I found myself in a forward fold suddenly seeing spots, my mind was buzzing and I knew I was going to pass out. So I dropped to the floor, closed my eyes, and breathed. I had been there before (so comfortably) in a fold, but never with this feeling. Of course, the workout I had, just minutes before, was the culprit. In the aftermath I realized that I have so much farther to go and so much work to do. It’s OK to fall down on the path, even if you’ve taken it before.
[My] yoga instructor leaves pieces of paper with quotes on them. Today’s quote was “Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage, and confidence in the doing.” Oh, how true! I will continue to read this over and over again on my journey. My major fear is failure. Failing to do the right thing, to be the right thing, to live the right thing, to see the right thing, to feel the right thing. I need to remind myself that the failing I fear isn’t really failing, it’s facing a fear, and that I am actually winning every time I do it; regardless of if I fall flat on my face from spotty vision after having pushed myself to the brink. I know myself, and I have to trust that I am enough.
The One Where Coffee and Cookie Crumbs are Metaphors
in one hand
a coffee cup
in the other
a chocolate cookie
deliberately
to be dunked
dreaming
instantly
about
the silky texture
how lusciously soft
my heated elixir
would transform
this crisp cookie
oh
too soon
SPLOOSH
fingers foiled
the cookie
quickly sank
to the bottom of
my favorite mug
the one with the
extra wide handle
for comfort grip
crying out
it did no good
for the cookie
already sunk
to the bottom
waiting to be
fished out by spoon
with a final reward
creamy chocolate crumbs
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