Thinking back on my
Week long adventure in babysitting, I can
Easily say that it was one of the hardest things to do.
Not only did I take care of my own children, but I also took care of
Three boys.
Yes, I can certainly say I don’t want any more kids.
-
Ever question your mothering ability?
I do.
God, do I?
However, this past week has
Taught me that I am doing this “Mama Thing” correctly.
Hope has presented it to me in the strangest way.

When you have 360-some days to choose from, it’s hard to narrow down which are your
favorite. So, instead of picking favorites I will pick 13 and tell a bit about them:

This Tabasco mug, my mug, has made many appearances in my 365. Michael and I had a matching set, which we purchased on our honeymoon in New Orleans. His broke and has long been departed, but mine is ever faithful to me, and I actually think it makes my coffee taste better.

The day before Halloween the truck broke down. We were on our way home from home school co-op and I completely lost my brakes. Someone was watching over us that day because I didn’t lose them on the highway, rather in the Dunkin Donuts drive-thru. Luckily for us, we got our truck back, were able to get pumpkins to carve, and we made it to “Trick-or-Treat” with Mo and her kids.

In the mirror! There would be many of these types. This one was taken with the Fuji Finepix. I don’t know what made me Photoshop it, but I really liked this drawn effect. It’s artsy-fartsy!

This one was taken on one of those cold, sunny days. I wasn’t in the mood to smile, and yet I wasn’t in the mood to turn my back on the camera. So…I accommodated this day’s sentiments by not smiling and by sternly looking into the lens.

I’ve come to take many 365′s of my legs, and this was the 2nd appearance of my tattoo. I was lounging around, and I believe Davey was taking a nap. I called for my camera, and this is what I got!

This is the first (and only) picture from my 365 that includes all of the kids and me! I am particularly fond of this capture.

Looking for a change in hairstyle (which is one thing that’s changed a lot during this year), I pulled out my curlers. As I sat there, in my bra, I decided that this would be a perfect 365!

First, I was not picking my nose. Second, this was the first appearance of my new glasses. After wearing corrective lenses for most of my life I recieved LASIK in 2003. However, after my pregnancy with David, my eyesight began to deteriorate. It wasn’t an obscene amount, but enough to cause a constant dull headache. The switch back to glasses took some time. Thankfully glasses are cool.

I have taken seven different Buddha figurine pictures in the 365. Aptly named “The Buddha Series” this is something that will continue outside of this particular project.

At the end of March one of my best friends moved to Reno, NV. This snap was taken on Mo’s Bonvoyage Girls’ Night Out. I long for another friend like Mo to live close-by for there’s nothing better than a friend that really gets you–I mean–really gets you! She reads [my blog], on occasion, and I hope she’s reading this now. I hope she knows how much I miss her.

I took a leap here and decided to share a picture I took of my firearm. I may have scared some people off even. Ultimately though, I am a mother of four who is often alone and I responsibly take my safety (and theirs) in my own hands. That’s why I used this in my 365.

While downloading some pictures of the day, I captured this shot with my cell phone camera. I rarely leave home without my Canon EOS Digital Rebel XTI and since I got the Crumpler 5 Million Bag, I do so in style!

To some Project 365 may seem like one is living under a microscope, but for me it’s been an exercise in magnifying things that I may have not been able to otherwise. I look back on these three-hundred-some pictures and I see a constant growth. I see confidence increase. I see myself looking deeper. I see a year of emotions depicted. I see life.

Project 365 (364/365) coming later today!

[Note: One thing that I've also seen happen during the evolution of my Project 365 is that the size of my photos has gotten larger. In the beginning, I won't lie, I scaled down my photos as not to appear conceited. However, as the project unfolded I became confident, and I realized that if I was going to put myself "out there" I didn't need to scale anything down.]

T H U R S D A Y

T H I R T E E N

1. Michael: My rock. The one I can count on for anything. The one who knows me the best, and the one that protects everything that is our family. He knows that I love him “More” and plays like he loves me more, but he knows that he can’t possibly. He may be the rock, the provider, the everything, but I’m the one that loves him more.
2. My Parents: They don’t even know how much I love them. I bet they think that I was running away from them. Ultimately, though, I believe they understand that life is about sacrifice. They’ve made quite a few over their lifetime. The means totally justified the ends; that’s why I believe they know that the sacrifices we have made by moving away from “home” are for the greater good of our family.
3. Mikey: Mr. Sensitive with a rough edge. God, this kid is something else. He’s so deep, such an old soul, and a pleasure to raise. While we butt heads, we get each other. He gets my humor, and I try to get him. Speaking of butts….we share the family genes. We fart when we laugh and we laugh when we fart!
4. Olivia: Always trying to please, this girl wears her heart on her sleeve. That’s not entirely her personality, though. She’s a tough cookie, a smart cookie, and a sweet cookie. I have to watch out though, because she’s got her father’s silver tongue. Wooodoggy! That girl can cut you in half with a few words. Good, maybe we won’t have to use the shotgun on those gentleman callers; the sword-like tongue in the brilliant head on the firm shoulders are entirely enough!
5. Benny: A million quirks all rolled into one little boy who won’t eat anything green to save his life (I take that back, he might eat something green for—oh—a Hot Wheel). He’s possibly the smartest out of the bunch, but he doesn’t boast the genius. He keeps it tucked away, but is known to pull it out at the oddest of times. He’s sweet, lovable and can curl up next to you so tightly, that you’d think he was a part of you. His kisses are sweet, even though he still wipes mine away. He’s not ready for broccoli yet. I’m giving him time, though. After all, he just got “into” apples!
6. Davey: This baby has turned me inside out. I’m a new mother because of him, and I thank him with my hugs, kisses, and hair tussles. There’s something to be said for having one baby, and being in the third decade of life. He’s preciousness embodied.
7. My Grandparents: The unconditional love they have shown me is limitless. I am their firstborn grandchild and they’ve always taken pride in that. I fear their loss, but know it is inevitable.
8. Regina: My Mother-in-law. I’ve never met someone that is just so real. Well, maybe her son. It’s unbelievable how she just understands. I love and respect that about her.
9. Pauline, my cousin: My closest relative (My “BCF”–Best Cuz Forever); she and I have only ever fought once, and it involved chocolate cream pie, a Forenza outfit, and another cousin’s graduation party. Forgiveness was quick. After all, we couldn’t go through the summer without a sleepover and a swim with Teta Holaja!
10. Maureen: Fate put us in each other’s path, and there’s no way to explain the kindred spiritedness I feel for her. I question that there was ever a time without her. She just gets me, and I love that!
11. Shelley: Another friend that sticks by me. We may not talk often, but we love each other dearly.
12. Dedo Mihailo: “Macedonian religious leader who, as the scholarly archbishop of Ohrid and Macedonia (1993–99), was head of the independent Orthodox Church of Macedonia and a fierce advocate of Macedonian independence from Yugoslavia and from the Serbian Orthodox Church.” He befriended me when he visited our church in the 1993 and Michael and I were extremely lucky to have been blessed by him, before our marriage, in September 1995. He rests in peace now and is one person whom I would love to see again.
13. You: Thank you for being here, for reading my words, for viewing my images, for learning about me, and for never passing any judgment. The relationship we share is special and I cherish it. Whether you know me in real life, or not, I’m glad you come here.