Author Archive

And The Winner Is…


{is this thing on?}

Oh hi! Michael here.

I’ve been tasked, or bribed with sexual favors, to select the winner of the Kelly Moore bag.  Counting and verifying entries is no way to spend the morning IMHO.  Mishi claims that she has a lot of images to edit or something like that and she’s promised me certain things to motivate me to help her.  I’m cheap and I’m easy, so here we go.

And the winner is…  Judith Shakes!


Mishelle will be in touch with you soon.  Congratulations!

HP Photosmart Touchsmart Web All-in-one Printer {Part I}

HP Photosmart Touchsmart Web All-in-one Printer – C309

I’ve been a techie all my life.  I got started like most by taking apart my parents’ things and putting them back together again, unsuccessfully at times.  I remember sitting on my bed one evening, when I was 13, with a fairly new digital clock radio.  I wanted to see what was inside, but as with most of my victims, I wanted to tinker with and torture them.  I ended up using my pocket knife blade to (inadvertently) short out the main AC wires (you know, the ones that lead to the plug IN THE WALL).  I was temporarily blinded by the sparks and flash, melted to nice little holes in my knife, and caused the lights to flicker through out the house.  The adrenaline coursed through my veins as the smell of ozone and molten metal tickled my nose.  I was alive.  And hooked.

HP gave us one of these all-in-one printers to review and use.  When the printer showed up, as with any new piece of tech, I got tunnel vision and set out to unpack the goods.  I made ready my workspace and chose our desktop, booted into Windows Vista x64, to be the first PC to get the new printing privileges.  One neat thing about the packaging is that the printer itself was wrapped in a canvas tote bag, and the accessory cables (power, USB, network cables) were inside a canvas, zippered bag.  No plastic wrapping.  Now I’m not a Kool-Aide drinking global warming greenie, but it was pretty neat to see this approach to new consumer goods packaging.  Bravo, HP.

I usually do not install the complete suite of driver/software packages from peripherals, but I wanted to pretend to be a novice and follow the quick start instructions.  It really was as easy as 1, 2, 3.  Install the ink cartridges, setup the wireless profile on the printer’s touchscreen, then install the software package on the PC from the DVD-ROM.  It was a flawless process, and everyone who runs Vista (especially 64bit Vista) knows that flawless is a term seldom used.

I was able to print, scan, and fax over our wireless router within minutes.  The big deal for me was that I could initiate a document scan from the printer’s touchscreen and send it to the computer.  No running back and forth scanning, saving, cussing, scanning again, rinse, repeat, etc.  You place a document on the scanner glass, scan to PC, and you’re done.  That’s the cat’s ass right there.  Or, you can choose to initiate the scan from your PC and enjoy more quality control options.

On the internets, it is widely assumed that facsimile is dead.  Well, people still listen to Disco, and people still fax.  HP makes it easy with this all in one machine, and they even have a toll free fax test number.  You send a fax to this number and within 5 minutes it sends a fax back to you, which tests both outbound and inbound fax operation.

Scan, fax, melted pocket knives… What about printing?  Oh yeah, it prints.  IT PRINTS!

The unit comes with a few 4×6 samples of photo paper.  I picked three distinctly different images for testing.  I opted to print with the default settings (color correction ENABLED) as a novice or non-techie would do.  I was amazed by the intense colors, sharpness, and overall quality.  Ask Secret Agent Mama, I’m hard to please, and I’m highly critical.  I was impressed.  Paper loading is a snap and the printed page is delivered face up.  You can print from your PC via wireless, USB cable, or straight from your camera’s memory card.  Take all of that and add Bluetooth, picture editing capabilities, and straight from web printing of maps, coupon, recipes and more WITHOUT a PC and you have a *true* all-in-one powerhouse.

Now, being that I am highly critical and hard to please, I did manage to find a couple things to gripe about.  The first thing that caught my attention was the sluggish response of the touchscreen.  There seemed to be a short delay from the time I touched the screen until the unit responded to my touch.  We’re not talking seconds or anything like that, but there was a perceived delay.  Am I just being picky?  I told you I was critical.  I think fast and I move fast.  I want instant and perfect responses to my instructions, dammit!  I’m guessing that very few people will notice any delay or be annoyed by it.

The only other complaint I have it the short power cord that connect the power pack to the wall outlet.  Seriously, the thing is like around 16 inches long.  Fine for sitting on the floor, but any other setup will present a slight problem.  Luckily it is a standard three prong cord just like the one that your PC tower or monitor uses.  They’re easy to find.

I’ve used another well known brand’s all-in-one thingy and it pales in comparison to the Photosmart Touchsmart Web All-in-one.  HP got it right and I’m honored to have the opportunity to use it.

{Mishelle will also be reviewing the HP Photosmart Touchsmart Web All-in-one Printer, too.  Stay tuned!}

No Pain, No Gain… No Sleep

I’m sure you’ve noticed the new design layout by now.  I didn’t create the design, I just deployed it, and surprisingly with minimal headache!  After that was all done, I took it upon myself to upgrade to the latest version of WordPress.  Well, that’s where the pain began.  Other upgrades have gone smoothly, but this one was a dick in the ass.  I managed to get it all squared away (it’s friggin’ 4:30am!!) and all seems to be well, except the order of Mishi’s sidebar widgets and a couple of late night comments may have been lost.  She’ll make that all pretty and correct later this morning, well, except for the missing comments… She’s good, but not that good! 

If you experience any errors with, please let Mishi know.  I’m off to bed finally.

Secret Agent Papa


I Was Called Out: Monday Meme
(A guest post by Michael)

Ok, so I know this is SAM’s blog and I have not submitted anything more than some jackassed comments here and there, but since I was called out…


emphasis is mine


Loyal and generous. (Loyal? yes, if we’re talking about somthing important and near/dear to my heart. Generous? Yes, in random fashion) Sexy. (I don’t think so, but ultimately not my call) Patriotic. (Bigtime. But in a pure, original constitutional way. Seriously, I have stong opinions on patriotism and what it meant, and what is doesn’t mean today. Buy me a few IPAs and we’ll discuss it further) Active in games and interactions. (Not really) Impatient and hasty. (There’s no better time than 10 GOD DAMN MINUTES AGO! C’MON!!) Ambitious. (Sort of, but not terribly motivated) Influential in organizations. (Wait, what?) Fun to be with. (Oh boy, that really depends who you ask) Loves to socialize. (When I’m on, I’m ON. Otherwise, “these people annoy me.”) Loves praises. (Like I care what you think) Loves attention. (See “Loves Praises”) Loves to be loved. (True, don’t we all?) Honest and trustworthy. (Unless I am out to deceive you, and you WILL be deceived if it is my wish) Not pretending. (True, unless I am having fun with your weak mind) Short tempered. (The most spot-on characterization of them all) Changing personality. (Sometimes. See “Not Pretending”) Not egotistic. (True) Take high pride in oneself. (Only in a select few areas) Hates restrictions. (Absolutely!) Loves to joke. Good sense of humor. (Yes! Life isn’t possible without laughter. I’m more into dry, sarcastic humor with a pinch of off-color added) Logical. (So much so that it can be annoying!)

Thanks for reading, and thanks to SAM for letting me post. I’ve considered my own blog, but I haven’t the ambition or ego for it. (December!) Maybe I can audition for an op-ed position with SAM’s blog?

The New Baby

David A.L. came into the world today in good fashion. Mishelle delivered David at 3:21PM EST, he weighed 11lbs. 14ounces, and measured 21 and a quarter inches! She will provide a detailed account in a couple days.


Copyright © 2023 SECRET AGENT MAMA
Creative Commons License by Michelle Lane is licensed under a
Creative Commons Attribution-Noncommercial-No Derivative Works 3.0 United States License.
MLP logo by Inksplash Designs - Webmaster: Michael