To Have a Friend, Be a Friend

January 7, 2009 - 11 Comments by Mishi - Uncategorized

Today was Orthodox Christmas and we got together for a nice lunch with friends that we have not seen in a while.  It was so good to be able to see my friend and her children, and I really hope that we can get in sync with get-togethers.  Our kids are relatively close-in-age and hers are home schooled, as well.   We fit together nicely;  our kids listen to The Charlie Daniels Band and Guns and Roses and she lets her girls wear make-up.   It’s perfect, really!    What’s even better is that in 2004, when we first moved to GA, she was the first person I had met.  She led a mom’s group and I’ll never forget the first time we met at the park.  It makes me happy that we’ve been able to continue a friendship despite not seeing each other all that much.

Early this evening the kids and I went to the grocery store to get some milk, eggs, and cereal.  As I turned out of the neighborhood I thought to myself how I really have held myself back from making friends in this town.  I had mentioned it, at lunch, and it really started to nag on me.  What am I so afraid of?  Why am I not taking the initiatives that I know I should and CAN take?  What’s the deal, yo?

With one left turn it dawned on me.  I am afraid of something.  I am protecting myself from losing.   I am afraid of loving and losing.  We’ve moved, friends have moved and I’ve ultimately lost friends.  That’s what’s keeping me sedated.   I’m just not allowing myself to make friends for this fear of making them and then losing them.  It’s easier to be friends with Shannon in Vancouver or Lotus in Tennessee or Angie in Florida or Holly in Texas or Victoria in California or Jeanette in South Africa or you, or her, or him, or them.    I know that I won’t ever miss them as I “see” them daily.     I am safe and I won’t lose them.  We all drink coffee, cry over spilled milk, dream dreams about dreams, eat lunch, commiserate, and so much more at their blog homes or places like Twitter and Facebook.

So– in honor of getting out with my friend Shelly today I am going to try a lot harder to meet new people as well as cultivate the friendships I already have here.  I’m going to make the call for a play-date with a buddy of Mikey’s (whose mom I saw at the Post Office before Christmas and told I would be in touch anyway.)  I’m going to ask my other friend and her five adorable girls to come over for lunch.  I’m going to go out on a limb, even if it means I might get hurt.    Because chances are that I will fall, but I’ll also have some people that I trust who will catch me.

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Day 7:

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
—Anais Nin