To Have a Friend, Be a Friend

Today was Orthodox Christmas and we got together for a nice lunch with friends that we have not seen in a while.  It was so good to be able to see my friend and her children, and I really hope that we can get in sync with get-togethers.  Our kids are relatively close-in-age and hers are home schooled, as well.   We fit together nicely;  our kids listen to The Charlie Daniels Band and Guns and Roses and she lets her girls wear make-up.   It’s perfect, really!    What’s even better is that in 2004, when we first moved to GA, she was the first person I had met.  She led a mom’s group and I’ll never forget the first time we met at the park.  It makes me happy that we’ve been able to continue a friendship despite not seeing each other all that much.

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Early this evening the kids and I went to the grocery store to get some milk, eggs, and cereal.  As I turned out of the neighborhood I thought to myself how I really have held myself back from making friends in this town.  I had mentioned it, at lunch, and it really started to nag on me.  What am I so afraid of?  Why am I not taking the initiatives that I know I should and CAN take?  What’s the deal, yo?

With one left turn it dawned on me.  I am afraid of something.  I am protecting myself from losing.   I am afraid of loving and losing.  We’ve moved, friends have moved and I’ve ultimately lost friends.  That’s what’s keeping me sedated.   I’m just not allowing myself to make friends for this fear of making them and then losing them.  It’s easier to be friends with Shannon in Vancouver or Lotus in Tennessee or Angie in Florida or Holly in Texas or Victoria in California or Jeanette in South Africa or you, or her, or him, or them.    I know that I won’t ever miss them as I “see” them daily.     I am safe and I won’t lose them.  We all drink coffee, cry over spilled milk, dream dreams about dreams, eat lunch, commiserate, and so much more at their blog homes or places like Twitter and Facebook.

So– in honor of getting out with my friend Shelly today I am going to try a lot harder to meet new people as well as cultivate the friendships I already have here.  I’m going to make the call for a play-date with a buddy of Mikey’s (whose mom I saw at the Post Office before Christmas and told I would be in touch anyway.)  I’m going to ask my other friend and her five adorable girls to come over for lunch.  I’m going to go out on a limb, even if it means I might get hurt.    Because chances are that I will fall, but I’ll also have some people that I trust who will catch me.

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Day 7:

Friends at Lunch (Strangers)

Each friend represents a world in us, a world possibly not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born.
—Anais Nin

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11 Responses to “To Have a Friend, Be a Friend”
  1. I’m proud of you for trying – taking the initiative – and putting yourself out there. Good luck. And, you know we are all here if you need us.

    Anglophile Football Fanatic’s last blog post..Better Off Dead?

  2. 01.07.2009

    anyone in your city would be lucky to have you as a friend.
    xo

    kimberly’s last blog post..inspiration needed. or maybe just some sunlight.

  3. 01.07.2009

    I consider you a friend, even though we see each other infrequently.

    I am completely WITH you though, on having been slack on cultivating the friendships I have been blessed with. I think I forget to make myself available, and to reach just “outside the box” a bit. I get so into my day-to-day, that I forget to look further.

    If you’d like to meet for a walk/park day, or get together to sit and chat…I’d love it!

    Cindy’s last blog post..V-I-C-T-O-R-Y

  4. 01.08.2009

    I know the feeling. With me I’m not so sure it’s about loosing anyone, it’s just I don’t trust anyone.

    It’s great that you guys got together though. Rekindling old friendships puts smile on anyone’s face =)

    Lisa’s last blog post..Oh it would be Wednesday!

  5. 01.08.2009

    I have to say I am lucky, really lucky to have so many friends that i can trust and turn to for a smile or a shoulder. It makes me happy that you are going to open yourself up again, allowing people to experience the awesomeness that is you is truly a gift Mish. I know I would be knocking on your door daily to hang out with ya!!

    Kim’s last blog post..Scroll, Scroll, Scroll, Tap, Tap, Tap

  6. 01.08.2009

    You go, girl.

    Many of my friends on “the outside” are mostly superficial.
    I would desperately LOVE a bff, but for some reason, I’m always too busy.

    Of course, for the right bff, I’d probably make time…

    Miss Ash’s last blog post..This is the life!!

  7. Well kudos to you! I know I need to go out on a limb myself and make some new in-real-life Mom friends, but I just don’t seem to have the time! I’m hoping ’09 proves to be much different than ’08 in that way…I hope I can make the time…

  8. 01.08.2009

    I know exactly what you mean, Mishi. I miss making friends. I need to put myself out there more.

    I have major anxiety about getting out and meeting new people. I used to be very outgoing. I think maybe being a blogger and staying at home with the kids has allowed me to become a hermit of sorts.

  9. 01.08.2009

    grrr.. it messed up my comment when I attempted to correct my misspelling of myself. blegh.

    I’ll just say ‘ditto’. I’m glad to have you as a friend, though. :)

  10. 01.08.2009

    Ooooh I’m so thrilled to be on your list!!
    But, there’s something to be said for friends that you see in the flesh often KWIM.

  11. 01.10.2009

    I really love that last shot – almost Hopper-quese!


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